The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Ok, so my 6 month surgiversary was about 2 weeks ago, so this is a little late, but better than never.  Hard to believe it's already been 6 months - time sure flies once life gets going.  Since my blog is about "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" with the sleeve, I figured I'd do a post reflecting on this at the 6 month mark and I've re-caped my first month post-op good, bad and ugly.


1 month post-op

The Good: 

- No hunger pangs controlling me

- Knowing what "full" is

- Fitting into clothes that were previously too small for me (yes, this early!)

- The drug Zofran for nausea & vomiting

- Ex-Lax & Bene-Fiber (to help with the constipation)

- Feeling hopeful about the future for the first time in a long time

The Bad: 

- Nausea

- Vomiting

- Constipation

- Liquid/pureed food

- No energy

- Not being able to get enough liquids in

- ER visits

- Eating too fast/not chewing properly (see first two on this list)

The Ugly: 

- Incision sites

- One bite too many (OMG, sooooo uncomfortable see next one)

- Food sitting in my throat (see above)

6 months post-op

The Good: 

- Down 75 pounds

- No hunger pangs controlling me

- Knowing what "full" is

- Being able to eat real food

- Clothes that no longer fit after a few weeks (I just bought these!!!)

- Feeling good about myself

- Looking forward to life, not sitting on the side watching the world go by

- Having a healthy relationship with food

- Learning to handle my emotions instead of eating them away

- Fitting into my "it" piece of clothing

- Being able to tie up my shoes without nearly passing out

- Fitting into seats on the bus, in the movie theater, restaurant, etc

- Only being on one medication for blood pressure and one for GERD
- No more hip/knee/heel pain

The Bad: 

- Trying new foods, I never know if sleevie will like them or not

- Creamy soups (bad, very very baaaad)

- Clothes that no longer fit after a few weeks (I just bought these!)

- Too many bites of something sweet (I think the max number is 2) 

- Hair loss (I know it will come back, but still....)

- Nosy people

- Feeling like a fraud when I tell people the weight loss is "just" diet & exercise

 

The Ugly: 

- Excess skin

- Purple colored incision scars

- One bite too many

- Sleevie's reaction to foods not accepted (extreme nausea & discomfort for a few hours)

- Food nightmares : me eating some type of fatty food and eating and eating and eating and not feeling full, seriously, I'm not kidding.  I wake up freaked out and in a panic that sleevie isn't working and how could I eat so much food?!  I hate these dreams.

Greetings & Salutations

Phew, I survived the Christmas Holidays and the Turkey dinner!  I am amazed at how I actually have LOST weight, for the first time ever.  Usually around this time of the year I gain about 10 pounds from my gorging.  I have only had 7 "skinny eggnog lattes" from Starbucks (before I would have at least one a day, sometimes 2 with the 3.25% milk) since mid-November, which is a seasonal treat for me.  I am surprised I am able to have them and not get sick, although I did have a "sleevie lesson" this morning from something else which I'll get into later.


I  hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas as I did.  It never fails to amaze me how long it seems to take Christmas to get here once it is December 1st.  Time seems to slow right down to a crawl and Christmas seems to take forever to arrive.  Just like when I was a child, I never really sleep very good the night before, so much excitement!  My FITBIT recorded 18 moments of waking during 8 hours of "sleep", lol.  Yup, a little excited.  I was spoiled by "Santa", as usual.  I got my Lululemon sweater (!!!!) and a bag full of goodies from my fave pampering store, LUSH, as well as some other delightful surprises.  Christmas is my favorite time of the year.  I love getting together with family, having turkey dinner and watching a movie afterwards, along with all of the chatter that takes place.  Aside from funerals, it seems to be the one time of the year that we can get just about everyone under one roof, so I really look forward to this time of the year.  

I did some shopping for myself on the 23rd at one of the huge malls nearby.  As much as I love shopping, 5 hours in a packed mall so close to Christmas filled up my need for shopping for a long time.  I broke down and bought a few pairs of jeans.  I know I said I was going to buy used clothing, but at $25 a pair I found it hard to say no.  I can't believe I was paying $60 a pair for my plus size jeans.  I was never able to buy a pair of plus sized jeans for $25.  I fit into a size 14 in jeans at this particular store.  I was shocked.  Not because the jeans were not a size 12 like at Lululemon, but because I initially went to grab an 18 and took a 14 instead.  I held up the 14 and thought to myself, there's no way in hell these are going to fit.  I know, it makes no sense at all that I fit into a 12 at one store and expected to fit into an 18 at another store.  I can't even explain that.  I just couldn't believe it.  I kept staring at myself at all different angles, taking it all in.  A size 22 to a size 12/14 in less than 6 months.  This works out to be XXL/XXXL to a size large.  Unreal.  My thighs and lower stomach have always been on the larger side in proportion to the rest of me, so right now I'm happy with being a 12/14 or a "large".  Not bad at all.



Ok, so back to surviving the Christmas Season.  How did I do it?  Well, with sleevie's help of course!!!  As I have mentioned before, I don't really have cravings to eat anymore.  I don't crave the junk I used to eat.  Before sleevie, I would actually crave to eat and eat and eat and eat.  Now with that being said, I do at times get a feeling of wanting something sweet in my mouth after a meal.  I don't want to eat, I just want something sweet in my mouth.  I don't know if I'm am explaining this very well, but it has nothing to do with actually eating.  I don't want to eat, I just want the sensation.  I find what works for me is to have one of the new teas that I bought.  Some of them do have chocolate in them, but the pieces are so teensy tiny that it really isn't enough to upset sleevie and I don't add any sweetener or milk, I just drink them plain.  Another thing I have been using are tic-tacs.  A few of these and I'm good to go and at .5 calories each, I don't worry about having a few a day.

Food is so very, very different for me now than it was 6 months ago.  I look at food now as fuel and know what I need to fuel myself - protein, veggies/fruit then carbs in that order.  That's how my meal is chosen.  For my turkey dinner I took meat first, brussels sprouts, mashed turnips, sweet potatoes and a few tablespoons of gravy.  I find something wet on the food helps it go down good.  I eyeballed my portions and put them all on a small plate.  I chewed slowly, taking the time to enjoy the taste and texture of what I was eating, but didn't eat past 15 minutes.  I had about 2.5 oz of meat and everything else was a few teaspoons.  I ate the meat first then the veggies and the carbs last.  I didn't eat all of what I had set out, but that's ok.  As soon as I could feel sleevie twitching, I was done.  I set my timer on my phone for 1 hour, marking when I can start drinking and that was that.



As far as leftovers go, I took home some pie with cool whip on the top and decided to have a few bites today, 4 teaspoons to be exact.  Bad idea.  VERY. BAD. IDEA.  Although the pie was very good, a few minutes after my fourth bite, I broke out into a sweat, my heart rate increased and the nausea set in.  I spent an hour in nausea hell and another 2 hours very uncomfortable and extremely thirsty.  One thing I have noticed after these episodes, since I have had a few of them, is that I am so very, very thirsty afterwards.  I don't even know WHY I decided to have a few bites because I didn't actually WANT it.  I guess it was because everyone was saying how good it was.  Anyhow, just looking at the leftover pie in the fridge makes me want to vomit.  Some of you may remember my nacho cheese and nacho chips incident....to this day, I still can not look at nacho cheese and nacho chips without feeling the need to vomit.  When chocolate has been offered, I am reminded of the incident I had with 2 pieces of chocolate a few weeks ago and I am turned off right away.

This surgery has done so much for me.  It has reprogrammed the way I look at food, how I eat food, how I treat food and how I need food.  No amount of counseling could have taught ME what this surgery has taught me.  I am so grateful.  Everyday.  Even on the days I've made bad choices and suffered for it.  I do not regret my decision.

What A Great Week!!!!

This week has been F-AWESOME to say the least.  This is gonna be a long post, I have sooooo much to tell y'all and I'm so EXCITED!!!!  I've been trying to post this for the past several days but good things keep happening, making the post just a little longer each time.  I'm sitting here typing like a mad woman to get this post done so I can share the news.  This has been a week of loss, triumph, discovery, happiness, excitement and increased motivation.

My weird infection is gone.  My lymph node swelling has gone down but the antibiotics were hard on sleevie.  A few hours after I took the antibiotics, sleevie would start to get "crampy" and I would wake up with an antibiotic taste in my mouth...kinda like a metallic taste.  Icky.  I'm glad that it is over and that I'm feeling better, so much better.

I am off one of my blood pressure pills!!!!  I am now only taking one pill for my blood pressure and that may gone in just a few months.  I am so unbelievably happy about that.  I have yet to come off of the Prevacid for the GERD, but we'll see.  Perhaps when I'm closer to goal, I can stop taking prevacid - forever!  FOREVER.  One of the reasons I had this surgery was to get off all of the prescription medication that I was on.  It really bothered me that I was only 31 and taking so many medications.  I couldn't help but wonder how many more I'd be taking as I aged.  I did not like the path that I was heading down.


My second stall finally broke thursday morning!!!!  I am down to 186 pounds for a total loss of 75 pounds in less than 6 months.  You can not grasp how absolutely thrilled I am about this 4 pound loss.  I have not lost anything since Nov 26, going on three weeks; my second stall since last month.  To see the scale moving again assures me that I'm back on track, not a failure AND I'm out of the 190's!




I have been battling this second stall like a crazy woman, it was driving me insane.  INSANE.  I know that when a person hits a stall, they have to change up their food, their exercise or both.  I decided to start with my food since I tend to eat the same things over and over and rationalized that my metabolism may have leveled out....at least that's what I thought it was - eating the same things at the same times.  For the past three weeks I have been mixing up what I eat (carbs) and when I eat and nothing seemed to be working.  The scale seemed to be permanently set at 190 pounds, even though my clothes have been getting bigger and bigger.  I had it set in my mind that sleevie wasn't working anymore, that somehow, SOMEHOW, I wrecked sleevie.  That I failed yet again, a hopeless case.  My depression reared it's ugly-ass head.  I have to be honest, I was feeling a lot of emotions.  Failure, helplessness, frustration, anger, self pity.....I could go on, but I think you get the point.  However, this is not the case, thankfully.

Wednesday was a very busy day at work and my eating went off the rails.  I kept missing meals and by the time the day was over and I was lying in bed putting in my food on my "LoseIt!" app, I noticed that I had only had a half serving of my protein shake for the day.  I normally have one to one and a half of the shakes a day, giving me 40-60 grams of protein alone from the shakes.  When I weighed myself Thursday morning I was pleasantly surprised - the scale had moved!  Good Lord, THANK YOU!!!!!!  First thought after my surprised and happiness?  Why?  What changed suddenly?  Protein.  It's the protein.....it must be the protein, I have been getting too much protein.  Who would have thought?  I was told to aim for 80-100 grams of protein, but I guess that is too much for me at this time.  I decided to look back on my eating to find out when I started drinking the shakes, which was on October 31.  Since I have been drinking one to one and a half of these protein shakes per day, I have lost barely anything.  The day after my consumption is drastically reduced, BOOM!  Weight comes off.  *HOPEFULLY* this stall will be broken for a while now and I will resume losing weight on a weekly basis again.


I can not recommend this app enough.  Lose It! tracks what you eat, gives you a nutrient breakdown on a daily and weekly basis, lets you create your own recipes and gives you a breakdown of nutrients, you can add your own foods, track your weight loss and more.  Even better, Lose It! has an online website with even more benefits AND it's FREE!!!!.  PLUS, it syncs with Fit Bit, my new pedometer on steroids.  Click here to check out Lose It!.

I have had the best intentions to work out, but life has an annoying habit of getting in the way.  Work has been very busy and things are just so busy, I don't know how I'm going to fit anything in before Christmas - there is so much to do!  Since my activity levels are seriously lacking, I decided to invest in a Fit Bit to get me started.  I've been using it for the past two days and I LOVE it!  It is just as addicting as checking facebook and I have already found myself wanting to push further each day to beat my previous days' numbers.  It has been tracking how far I've walked, how many steps I've taken, how many stairs I've climbed and my sleep patterns.  It has wifi capabilities allowing it to automatically upload to your computer.  PLUS, there's more!  Purchasing the Fit Bit comes with free online membership where you can track everything.  You can view graphs and charts - this thing is just so amazing.  Since it syncs up with Lose It!, it also keeps track of my intake and calculated my calories burned.  Just amazing.  I freaking love this thing!!!!  Check out the features here.  I think the purchase price is also very reasonable at $99.95.  If you order before December 21st, expedited shipping is FREE.  When I ordered mine, I paid an extra $19.99 to have it shipped overnight.  Shipping was fast and start up was relatively easy.  All you have to do is go online to start downloading and away you go.  Fast.  Easy.  Love it.  I highly recommend this.

Now for the biggest news of all.  Everyone has their "thing".  The thing that will mark when they are smaller.  For some it may be an item that you wore when you were smaller.  Perhaps it was that sexy dress that caught your eye and you bought it as your inspiration to keep focused.  Mine was being able to wear a Lululemon sweater.  I first walked into this store a few years ago as I had seen the sweaters all over the place on other girls.  I had heard how absolutely comfortable these sweaters were, even if they are a tad costly.  When I went into this store I grabbed the largest size they had in a black sweater, and I could barely fit into one arm, never mind two.  I was mortified.  Then angry at myself.  I have never forgotten about that day and swore that one day, I too would wear one of these sweaters.  Those of you who don't know what Lululemon is, click here.  Being able to wear a Lululemon sweater was my marker that I had lost weight.  That I was on my way to being slender, maybe even, shall I dare say, skinny.  The largest size in this store is a 12.  I took a big chance yesterday considering my previous epic fail.  I went into the store, grabbed a size 12 sweater and proceeded nervously towards the change room.  This was something that had to be done in private.  Failure twice could elicit some serious tears and feelings of rejection....embarrassment upon failure of the zipper to close and a deep sense of humiliation if the sweater couldn't close to zip up.  Yes, this event demanded privacy.  I nervously approached the change room.  I entered in silence just as one would enter a church on sunday mass.  It was the moment of truth.  One arm in the sweater, then the next without any problems.  As I went to zip up the sweater there was no struggling.  It was smooth all the way up, a tiny bit snug over the boobies but still smooth.  The sweater fit.  Disbelief.  Holy shit, it fit.  It fits!!!  I am no longer a plus size.  I am, a Lululemon girl.....hellz yah!!!  I remember starting at myself, tears swelling in my eyes.  I did it.  I. Did. It.    I AM A SIZE FUCKING 12.  T-W-E-L-V-E.  1-2.  12.  HOLY FAAAAAKKK, I DID IT.  I'm not even done losing weight yet.  The kicker for me is that I'm a little bloated right now from my monthly gift and it still fits.  These sweaters are awesome and so snug.  I feel like I am being hugged and snuggled.  The comfort I felt wearing it is unexplainable.  You need to try one on to see what I mean.  I adore the thumb holes.  I absolutely am in love with this sweater and can see why so many others are too.

I walked out of the room after I had taken it off, happy but shocked.  My wonderful husband waiting for me, my face dead pan.  I couldn't hold it for long and broke out into the hugest shit-eating grin ever and told him the great news.  I wanted to jump up and down screaming "I'm a size fucking 12 y'all!!!!  6 months ago I was pushing the limits of a size 22 and I'm a size fucking 12!!!!!  BOO-YAHHHHHH!!!!!!".  Since such behavior is not appropriate in public I severely restrained myself.  Hubby was very happy for me, but couldn't understand why I would cry - I should be happy he said.  I am, I am, they are tears of joy!  I don't think guys "get" the whole battle of the bulge for us women, but that's ok.  He's been hella supportive and I love him to bits for that, and always will.  Even at my highest weight, he NEVER, EVER said anything negative about my body.  Never.  I love him so much.  Now, let's see if "Santa" puts this sweater under the tree for me!

TEAOPIA, my new obsession

My new obsession - TeaOpia.  Hubby and I discovered this place last night while making our way to Lululemon.  It truly is teaopia.  As you can see from the picture, the choices are enormous.  TeaOpia sells over 100 varieties of premium loose leaf tea.  I went in to just take a look, then decided to get "just one" tea and ended up walking out $180 later!  What (in the hell) did I buy you ask?  A lot!  First off, with names such as "Baked Apple Pie", "Almond Biscotti", "Devil's Chocolate" and "Coconut Cream", just to name a few, how can your mouth not water!  I assure you the smells are intoxicating and they are of premium quality.  Each type of tea is kept in a container that the service person opens up and wafts the lid over the opening to disperse the luxurious smell.  It is a unique experience and with over 100 types to chose from, this made for a most difficult choice, which is why I walked out with such a hefty bill.  While I quite enjoy coffee, I have always loved tea and this tea is premium quality tea.  Tea is well known for it's healthy properties such as with cancer prevention, weight loss, cardiovascular health, arthritis, bones, bladder inflammation, teeth, kidney stones, immune system, brain and, of course, it's antioxidant properties.  Especially with loose tea as they have the most antioxidant power.  Click here to read more about tea's health benefits, it is well worth the read.  This is what I ended up walking out with (descriptions from the website):


HONEY VANILLA

A heavenly combination of Oolong Tea, hazelnut brittle, vanilla bits, and marigold flower petals.  This dessert like tea is perfect for serving alongside dessert and is sure to please any palate.



Yep, this tea was dee-lish.  Really hit the spot when I woke up this morning with a longing for something sweet.  The smell left me smitten.  Even better was that I did not need to add sweetener, cream or milk - calories saved!



DARJEELING AMBOOTIA
This organic Darjeeling Black Tea gives honour to its famous name.  The Ambootia tea estate is located in India's renowned region of Darjeeling, where all natural methods are used to grow this beautiful tea.  The leaf is well twisted and the flavour is sure to meet all expectations.


I haven't tried this one yet, but I have always wanted to try a high quality darjeeling tea.




SLIM AND SLENDER
This Wellness Blend is a combination of Yerba Mate, Kind of Pu-Erh, stinging nettle, carrot pieces, aloe vera, red rose buds, mallow flowers, calcium lactate, sunflowers and magnesium citrate.  These natural ingredients come together to create a tea that both boosts the immune system and burns fat.  The guava-pineapple-lemon flavour of this tea is a pleasure to drink and in addition keeps you feeling healthy and slim, making Slim and Slender an instant favourite.

I am drinking this one right now and it has such a lovely flavor to it.  I have tried other slimming teas that were absolutely disgusting to be honest.  This tea is far from that.  I love the fruity overtones  - no need for sweetener, cream or milk.  No extra calories!



CARAMEL APPLE
This delicious Green Tea is a combination of organic sencha Shokai-style, caramel cubes, and apple pieces.  Now you can get the nostalgic and tasty flavour of apple and a caramel in a healthy green tea.  

I fell in love with the smell of this one immediately.  I was instantly reminded me of my late Grandmother and the apple pies she used to bake.  I am sure this one is going to be delicious as it is stated to be.






BLUEBERRY AMORE
This flavoured tea is a combination of Green Sencha, blueberries, rose petals, mallow petals, red rose buds and safflower petals.  The mixture of fruit and flowers together provides a delightful flavour and aroma for the pallet.  This drink is perfect for any time of day hot or iced for tea and fruit lovers.

I have not tried this one yet either, but I'm sure it won't be long before I do.  The smell is a lovely, light aroma of fruit.  My husband suggested this one for me and I'm looking forward to trying it out.




MONK'S BLEND
Monk's Blend is a dramatic combination of Ceylon Black Tea, vanilla and grenadine.  This flavoured tea has a mysterious background, as it is believed to have been developed by monks to fulfill their life's desires and used by Franciscan monks to keep them awake during periods of meditation.  While we may not know the true history of Monk's Blend, we do know that this tea is delicious and much desired by vanilla lovers.  

I was drawn to the name of this tea and couldn't resist once I had a smell of it.  I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE vanilla and this tea smells so rich and creamy to me.  I can easily imagine monks drinking this tea.  The smell is just so calming and peaceful.  Mmmmmm, vanilla.



MATCHA PINNACLE
Teaopia's Pinnacle grade Matcha is hand picked from the top two varieties of Matcha trees by only skilled hands, which ensures that the leaves are accurately sorted.  Although this is a slow process, hand picking produces tea of the highest quality.  Our Pinnacle Matcha has a sweet and fresh flavour that Green Tea drinkers will love.  Matcha powdered Green Tea is praised for being rich in naturally occurring catechins including EGCG (Epigallocatechin gallate), which are believed to help protect against cancer, help prevent cardiovascular disease and help reduce harmful cholesterol in the blood.  Since you are actually ingesting the whole Green Tea leaf which drinking Matcha and using the powder in your smoothies, baking, etc, you are receiving more health benefits, in fact approximately 10X more than an infusion of Green Tea leaves.  Teaopia's selection of premium Match Green Tea provides you with all the health benefits of loose leaf Green Tea and more.  This extremely healthy ancient beverage will bring your health and wellness to a whole new level.  Our Pinnacle Matcha is packaged in a sealed 30 gram tin.  $38.00

I have never had Matcha Tea but I have heard of the amazing antioxidant properties.  Just look at the chart above!  Although it is costly, you don't use very much of it and there are many uses for it.  Put in in your smoothie, yogurt, bake, make a Matcha latte or just have it in its traditional form.  Matcha Tea requires special preparation  - 4 oz of water, 80 degree water and a steep time of 2-3 minutes while being whisked.  I bought this kit so that I could make the tea in it's traditional form and was given a demonstration by a staff member on how to correctly prepare it.  I am  especially looking forward to trying this tea as it is of exceptional quality.





One of the big bonus' was that TeaOpia had a promotional deal on.  Fill any small or large tin and the tin was free.  These tins have an air tight lid and hold the freshness of the tea for 6-8 months.  I purchased small tins for all of my teas and I was quite happy to have them in a tin knowing that their freshness would be preserved.





Well, now that I've written a novel, it is time to sign off for the night.  Take care everyone, hope all is well for everyone!

Blah

I am sick.  Blah.  I woke up monday morning feeling really gross.  The right side of my neck was really sore.  When I felt it I could feel a lump just under my ear that was the size of a gumball and there was one on the left side of my neck also.  Behind both of my ears there was swelling also.  I've never had anything like this.  Went to my GP and he confirmed my thoughts that my lymph nodes are swollen, but he couldn't find anything actually wrong.  Although my throat was sore last week, it was normal.  My ears have been feeling funny, but they were clear also.  My nose has been runny lately but nothing that would indicate a cold or anything like that.  I just didn't think much of all these things.  Anyhow, my doctor concluded that I was fighting off an infection of some sort, hence the swollen lymph nodes, and he decided to put me on antibiotics since my 'nodes have been swollen over a week.  Perhaps this illness has something to do with only losing one pound.  My eating has been terrible the past few days.  I've been sleeping until noon and going to bed early which means not eating very much.  I am hoping to be back on track next week.  

WTF IS THIS S*&T ? !

I weighed in on saturday instead of friday.  I lost a whole whopping pound.  Yeah, ONE pound.  A measly fucking pound.  I got on the scale a few times as I was in such disbelief that it was only a pound.  I was SURE the scale was broken.  I even checked it, but nope.  ONE pound.  WTF-F-F!!!!!!  I think I would have rather just have not lost anything at all.  Forgive me if you're thinking I'm ungrateful, but to me, a one pound loss is like expecting that 15-20% tip after busting your ass and instead you get a 5% tip - it's like a slap in the face.  I don't know why the loss was so small this weigh-in.  It could be because I had my "gift" last week and was bloated and such.  The lymph nodes in my neck are swollen on both sides (Dr figures I'm fighting off something and I have had a sore throat all week) and maybe that is causing my body to hold onto calories?  Who knows.  I am really hoping that next week's loss is larger.  I am having anxiety that somehow sleevie is no longer working, that I have maxed out my weight loss that I have yet again, failed at this too.  A part of me is telling myself that I'm not being logical, that sleevie is working and this is all part of the process in which I need to be patient.  However, another part of me is insisting that I have fucked this up too, that I have failed, just like I knew I always would.  Enough of my self pity party, I'm signing off now.

WOWZERS!!!

Holy crap-a-moley!!!!  Over 1000 views.  Wow.  I'm just....speechless.  Thank you everyone for following and reading about my journey.  If it weren't for you, I wouldn't bother blogging.  This blog is my way of paying it forward for others.  If it wasn't for all the other virtual people out there, I would never have found out about gastric sleeve surgery.  I was so lucky to find blogs and forums where I learned about the surgery, the Mexico option, pre and post op information and had virtual support from others who were going through what I was or had already gone through what I was about to go through.  One thing I was not able to find, that I really wanted to find, were blogs from those who were a year out or more.  I promised myself to pay it forward by blogging for a full year, plus through my plastic surgery as well.  That's going to be about 18 months to 2 years - at least.  So, I'm here for the long haul peeps and I hope you will be too!

After Thoughts

I've just realized today that I've lost 70 pounds and have 71 pounds more to go to get down to 120 pounds.....I am half way to my goal and only 5 months post-op.  Saturday was my 5 months post-op day.  That's pretty damn good!  I am happy with how the numbers on the scale are going down and how the clothes are getting bigger, I just wish my brain would catch up with everything!  I still just see the "fat me".  I am hoping that the next 6 months will bring a lot of physical change that I can really see, such as my thighs leaning out and muscles starting to appear.

Onto a more personal item.....bowel movements - I'm regular!  Ever since I upped my vitamins I've been having bowel movements every day or every other day.  This is great news.  I don't think it's healthy to not have poops every day.  From what I have read, it can increase your risk of certain types of cancer to not have regularity, so I am really happy that things are really regular these days.  

Some people are really dumb.  As I mentioned before I am working at a new location.  I ran into someone from the department I used to work at in another facility.  I haven't seen this person, "J", for 7 or 8 months. Although J is a nice person, she has a big mouth and is a gossiper.  J found out I was working at this new place, as is she, and decided to seek me out.  When she saw me, she was dumbfounded at my weight loss.  "OMG look at you!  You're so skinny, girl you've lost like 50, 60, 100 pounds!  Oh, you're so cute now!  So tiny."  Errrr, cute "now".  I'm thinking to myself so, what you're saying is I was fugly before?  Then she proceeds to tell my new co-workers just how much weight I have, in fact, lost.  It was really uncomfortable, not to mention awkward.  Then to make matters worse, I find out that a lady, "M", I went to school with 6 years ago, also works at this new facility and hasn't seen me in over a year.  J brought her over to see me.  "OMG, you HAVE lost a lot of weight.  What are you doing, tell us EVERYTHING".  I somehow was roped into spending my break with them and getting grilled on exactly what I eat, how much I am eating and when.  It was so.....invasive.  Thank God my break was only 15 minutes.  I practically ran away from them when I told them I had to go back.  When I got back to my desk, I was then grilled by my new co-workers.  Sigh.  I just wanted the questions to stop.



I am trying so hard to keep my personal life separate from my work life.  I don't want to be a poster child for this surgery.  This was a personal decision that I don't need to explain or justify to people.  I had this surgery because I have a problem with food.  A problem much like an alcoholic or drug addict.  It makes me feel weak that I couldn't beat this addiction to food by myself, that I had to have 3/4 of my stomach removed so I wouldn't die from my overeating or diseases secondary to overeating.  It kills me that I couldn't do this myself.  That I had dieted time and time again, only to fail miserably.  I don't want people to know this, this weak part of me, especially people I work with.  People can be cruel and judgmental.  I am the kind of person that wants to go to work, enjoy her job, do her job, go home and collect her paycheck every two weeks.  That's it.  I learned the hard way once, sharing something personal only to have the entire department know about it.  I have the mentality of whatever I tell someone, it's like I'm telling the whole department.  It's best to keep personal things personal.  I will admit though, inside I feel like a fraud when people ask what I'm doing and I tell them I'm just eating less, eating healthy stuff and exercising.  I hate that feeling, but feel strongly that it's no one's business but my own.  What do you think?  Would YOU tell people you have had this surgery?  Why?

Movement!

Last Friday would have been 3 weeks of my stall but......it broke!!!! Scale went down to 191. I'll take that! What did I do different? I think it may have been the increase of my protein intake. Aside from upping my vitamin intake, not much else changed.

Hellllloooooo Plateau ; ) and other things - LONG POST!

First amazing thing I want to talk about is that I have noticed is that the views on this blog have jumped to over 800 views which made me say "oh!" when I logged in.  I was honestly shocked.  I think the last time I blogged the views were in the 600 range and now well over 800.  I mean, wow, that's a lot!  To all of those who have been checking in and who are new here, WELCOME AND THANK YOU!!!!  YOU ROCK :)

Well folks, the inevitable has happened.  I have hit a plateau.  Weigh-in for the past two weeks has been 195.  I knew it was going to happen; it happens to everyone.  I'm not mad or frustrated (yet) or anything really....I'm just fine.  I am so glad that it happened AFTER I hit ONEderland as that was my first goal.  Now, here's the weird thing.  The scale has not budged at all BUT the clothes are getting bigger, especially my pants in the gut and thigh area (no complaints here!!!).  Almost three weeks ago I set aside a pair of work pants that I had bought as they were too tight in the gut and thigh area.  It was bad.  I'd bend over or sit down and the pants would slide down below the crack of my bum and my thighs looked like plump sausages.  I slipped those pants on last week and......(drum roll)......they fit.  THEY FIT!!!  No sliding down or legs that look like sausages, actually, they are a tad loose!  Can you believe it?!  Amazing.  So really, I can't be all that mad can I?  The numbers may not be going down, but the clothes sure as hell are.  I think in several more weeks I may be bagging up all of the work clothes I bought the end of September/early October and donating them.  I have non work pants that are getting so big, I just can't wear them anymore.  They're either falling down or so huge I am floating in them.  Value Village must love me.  I am the poster child for recycling.  I buy clothes from them, I donate back to them then buy more clothes from them and the cycle repeats, lol.


More good news.  The pre-made protein drinks that I was testing have proved fruitful.  Yayyyyyy!!!!  I am so freaking excited!  I have absolutely fallen in love with a delicious chocolate protein drink made by VPX called "Chocolate Dream" and let me tell you, it IS a dream.  I swear it tastes like chocolate milk, I initially felt guilty drinking it.  I had to check the nutrition content several times to make sure it really was "just" a protein drink.  I also tried the Vanilla flavor but it was just "ok", do-able, but no where near as good as the chocolate.  Mind you, I am a chocolate person.  Anyway, it has a smooth velvety texture (no chunkies!!!!) and it packs a whoping 40 grams of high grade protein, only 1 gram of sugar, 6 grams of fiber (this will help if you're constipated),  6 grams of fat and 260 calories in 500 mls (2 cups).  I like how the containers have a re-sealable cap and I can simply re-cap the container and put it in the fridge for next time.  I don't have to worry about bringing a shaker to work (which doesn't work anyway) to mix my protein, I just grab one of these containers and away I go.  I use one container as two servings, drinking half after breakfast and then the other half after lunch and then another half after dinner.  Doing this has now bumped my protein intake to 85 to 100 grams per day depending on what else I eat.

Chicken breast, spaghetti sauce
& parmesan cheese

What else have I been eating?  Not too much difference from previous weeks.  I'm a pretty boring eater.  I am still having the greek yogurt in the morning (100 grams) with 2-5 tablespoons of either raspberries or green crunchie grapes (yum-yum).  Lunch and dinner is either chicken breast (2.5 - 3 oz), with spaghetti sauce and 1 tbsp parmesan cheese or just 2 tablespoons of shredded parmesan cheese (I LOVE cheese!) or half of the frozen Meatloaf dinners.  In between breakfast/lunch/dinner I've been drinking the pre-mixed protein drink and I am still having my coffee first thing in the morning.  Really hard to cut out coffee completely since I went back to work one month after surgery.  At least I have cut it down to one cup (rarely two) instead of the 4-6 cups a day I was drinking.  My morning coffee is one cup (8 oz) with 3 tablespoons of fat free creamer and liquid sugar twin, aka my "triple 0", lol.  Pretty simple really and easy.


In my previous post I talked about hair loss.  I want to make it clear that it is really not all that obvious (except to me since I tend to obsess over things) and hubby didn't even notice it.  I am hoping that since my protein intake has gone up quite a bit it will help with the hair loss/thinning and encourage hair growth again.  I have also totally vamped up my vitamin/supplement intake to help with this among health in general.  Initially I was just taking 2 chewable multivitamins as I was having a hard time with pills.  Now that I'm almost 5 months out and sleevie is able to handle pills, I have added a number of things.  I am now taking liquid iron (easier for the body to break down & digest), vitamin C (to assist with the absorption of the iron and helps combat the free radicals that iron stimulates), folic acid (promotes red blood cell formation & helps the body use vit b12), zinc (helps with hair growth among other things), calcium, vitamin D (helps with calcium absorption) and biotin (helps with hair growth).

My vitamins are broken down as such:

Breakfast:
Liquid Iron - 10 ml
Vit C - 1000 mg
Multivitamin - 2 chewables                              
Calcium  - 350 mg
Vit D - 1000 mg
Zinc - 50 mg
Biotin - 1000 mg
Folic Acid - 1 mg

Super:
Calcium - 350 mg
Vit D - 1000 mg
Liquid Iron - 10 ml
Vit C - 1000 mg

Vit B12 injections every 2 weeks.


Cravings......I am still not having cravings (yayyyyyy!), I know what full feels like (woooo-hooooo) AND hunger is sometimes there, but I'm not really sure if it is true hunger or not.  I can't figure out if it's just my brain predicting my eating schedule or if it is sleevie sending messages.  If you do not know what I mean by sending messages, let me explain.  Stomachs have a part of them, grehlin, that send out hunger hormones to your brain (hey, feed me!).  When a person undergoes this surgery, that part of the stomach is removed.  Anyways, rarely sleevie feels as what I can only describe as "twitchy" and I think it must need food or water.  It is a very distinct feeling.  When I check the time I then realize it is time to eat or drink, but that doesn't happen very often as I have become a clock watcher in order to get the protein in.  If I don't stay on top of it, I can easily have a 200 calorie day, no problem and that is not a good thing.  Water is still a huge problem for me.  After eating and drinking the protein I am FULL.  By the time I feel empty again, it is time to eat or drink the protein.  It's hard.  I feel like my choice is to either drink the water or drink the protein.  Right now, I'm going for the protein.

Looking at my body.....As I have said before, I look in the mirror and I still just see fat....literally - cellulite.  I have always been highly criticial of my body, seeing only imperfections - we are our own worst enemy.  My thighs have always been large and I've always had a pesky lower "pouch".  When I did manage to get down to 160 pounds before, I had a small pouch but my thighs always seemed large and out of proportion to me.  I guess that is how I am going to be until I really start to lean out and/or get plastic surgery.  I think it would be distorted to think of myself as "slender" right now, even though I feel at times to be tiny - does that make sense?  The last time I was at this weight, I was in a larger size pant, 1 XL, this time I'm fitting baggy in an XL.  So, at times, I do feel smaller than 195 pounds.  Although I have lost 65 pounds and gone from a BMI of "morbidly obese" at 261 pounds down to 195 pounds, I am still considered "obese".

4 Months Post-Op Today!

Today I am 120 days post op.  Hard to believe it's been 4 months already, where does the time go?  Friday was a very happy day....I'm down 4 pounds to 195 pounds!  I am quite pleased with the amount that I have lost, a total of 65 pounds, but I am still in disbelief, if that makes sense?  I see the numbers on the scale going down, the clothes getting smaller and hear the compliments from people noticing, but when I look at myself in the mirror I don't really see the changes.  Kinda frustrating.

Hair loss.  Yup, I noticed it about a week ago.  When I'm conditioning my hair in the shower and run my hand through my hair, it's like I've just pet Chewbacca, lol.  I knew it was coming so I'm not overly surprised or upset.  It is most noticeable along my hairline on my forehead.  Ah well, what can ya do?  I'm taking my vitamins and getting my B12 shots (every 2 weeks now) and making sure I hit 80 grams of protein each day, which is still hard to do.  I have really plan out my eating and drinking timeline for the day.

For those of you that are wondering what I am eating, 4 months out, it's pretty simple things.  Breakfast is typically fat free greek yogurt with fruit, either raspberries or 1/4 banana.  For lunch or dinner I will have a Stouffer's Meatloaf & Mashed potatoes (2 meals for me) or 2 oz chicken breast with 2 tablespoons spaghetti sauce and 1 tbsp shredded parmesan cheese.....for the past several weeks.  Yes, I'm a creature of habit.  Plus, it's just so easy to eat these things.  Not a lot of prep involved.  I've recently started experimenting with pre-made protein drinks since I still find the powdered protein a touchy thing.  It's been great for drinking at home, but to take it to work and make it is a whole different story.  It doesn't mix as well resulting in "chunkies" which make me gag.  I'll let you know how my search goes.  Protein powders/drinks are essential to getting in enough protein each day, so I keep plugging along trying to find ones that work.

A note to my followers:  THANK YOU for your virtual support, it means a lot to me.  :)  I'm glad you're here.  THANK YOU!!!!!

ONEderland!

Yup, that's right ladies and gents!!!!  I hit ONEderland this morning.  It feels hella surreal, but good.  At first I thought I had read the scale wrong.  My solution?  Go back to bed.  I went back to bed and slept for another few hours then got up again.  I had a face-off with the scale (I hate you, you hate me....) then climbed on....yup, 199 lbs, 111 days post op, total loss: 62 pounds.  Wow.  I'm trying to think when I was last in ONEderland.....it must have been in 2006 - 5 years ago.  Feels good.

Stats and a Surprise

I decided to keep a running "tab" of my stats in my dayplanner so I can see everything all at once.  Here are my stats so far:

Start Weight: 261 lbs
25 July 2011: 240 lbs (-21 lbs)
05 Aug 2011: 230 lbs (-10 lbs for a total of -31 lbs)
12 Aug 2011: 225 lbs (-5 lbs for a total of -36 lbs)
10 Aug 2011: 231 lbs (+6 lbs - UGH, PMS)
26 Aug 2011: 227.5 lbs (-3.5 lbs)
02 Sept 2011: 220 lbs (-7.5 lbs for a total of -41 lbs)
05 Sept 2011: 215 lbs (-5 lbs for a total of -46 lbs)
23 Sept 2011: 210 lbs (-5 lbs for a total of -51 lbs)
07 Oct 2011: 205 lbs (-5 lbs for a total of -56 lbs)
14 Oct 2011: 201 lbs (-4 lbs for a total of -60 lbs)

SURPRISE!  So, those work pants I bought a few weeks ago, the XL ones, are already baggy!!!!!!!!  I noticed when I got ready for work this morning there was a little more room in the stomach/thigh area.  Yup, feels good!  That's all.

Yayyyyy, no plateau!!!!

My "Triple 0"

Well, not yet.  BUT, after cutting out sugar and cream from my tea and coffee this past week, my weight loss went from a measly 2.5 pounds to a 4 pound loss.  Amazing that tea and sugar can do that much damage.  I replaced my brown sugar cubes which I usually use 1-2 in my coffee, sometimes one in my tea, depending on what kind of tea I am drinking, with liquid Sugar Twin.  It's a beauty, it really is.  I call it the "triple - 0" since the calorie/sugar/carbs count is all zero.  Plus, I don't notice the taste difference, if any, so it's a straight out bonus.  For cream, I just started using 1% milk.  It has obviously cut the calories out since I use enough creamer/milk to make my coffee a "tan" color, however, the taste is definitely NOT the same at all.  It's "do-able" but nothing to get excited over.  I picked up a fat-free coffee creamer while grocery shopping today, so we'll see how that tastes tomorrow.  I also bought a bunch of flavored teas - cinnamon apple, cranberry apple and some jasmine tea (one of my favorites).  I'm trying to get off the coffee.  Wish me luck, LOL.

So, here I am, 2 pounds away from ONEderland.  I am determined to lose those 2 pounds come next friday, dammit.  I don't want to plateau yet, or ever for that matter, which is unrealistic, but please!  Plateau gods, please wait until I'm at least in ONEderland.  I am going to keep pushing ahead following my coffee/tea requirements that I have established for myself for this upcoming week.  My slightly unrealistic goal would be to get down to 196 pounds (5 pound loss), but with things starting to slow a bit (I'm sure a plateau is near) I would be happy with getting down to 198 pounds.  It's still too early for me to tell if my weight loss has been hampered by the sugar/cream calories or if this is just the natural progression of the plateau (no one is immune to it my friends) or if I just really need to start getting some cardio/weights back into the mix OR, if there is some sort of mix of all things.  I'm sure the exercise is a big portion of it, either way.  I have found some resistance bands that I really like but will be ordering off the web next pay-day and I also discovered an at home work out with resistance bands in the "Oxygen" mag that I read.  So, yeah, I'm pretty excited to start trying that workout with my resistance bands when I get them.

I am still adjusting to my new job working between two new facilities; actually, I am learning four new jobs between two new facilities with different hours, so I am not sure if I am going to make it two the gym this week.  Going to the gym has been right at the forefront of my mind, like a rash on one's ass.  I know it's there, I haven't forgotten it's there and I'm sure as hell wanting to soothe it.  I have two more weeks of scheduled training and then another three weeks after that point where I feel I need it.  So, my schedule is going to be out of whack for another four to five weeks at least.  I'm going to try though...I'm sooooo close!

A Mix of Things

I know my American friends won't be celebrating for a while yet, but I hope all my Canadian friends had a wonderful Thanksgiving yesterday.  Mine was great and went on without any problems.  I was a little worried about it, but not because of gorging, self control or anything like that.  I was worried about the comments on the small, very small, plate that I ate off of in comparison to everyone else's.  As I have mentioned before, not everyone in my family knows and there are reasons for that.  I don't trust all in my family not to say anything and I sure as hell didn't went Thanksgiving to be the day where I sat at the table and explained myself to everyone.  Anyhow, thankfully, it was ok.  I eyeballed my portions and one family member raised her eyebrows about my plate but I simply said to her, "it's all I need", and she shrugged her shoulders.  That was the end of that.  I guess she figured I was on "another diet".

I have this really neat App for my iPhone, Target Weight, which I have been using to keep track of my weight loss. When I entered in my new weight a few days ago, it calculated that if I continue to lose weight at the same rate, I should be at my goal by 28 Feb 2012 (my goal is 120 pounds).  That got me really excited because I was giving myself 16 months to get to my goal weight.  With that being said, do I think I will be at my goal weight at the end of February?  No, I do not.  I spent some time earlier this evening looking over my numbers and I have noticed that over the past 32 days, I have only lost an average of 2.5 pounds per week.  Before it was an average of 5 pounds per week.  That realization was like someone gave me a good punch to the face.  Deep down inside, I have doubts that I will fail too at this, that somehow I will screw things up.  To see the numbers on paper makes me feel sick.  I think I am heading for a plateau soon and that really sucks.  I am only 6 pounds away from ONEderland and now I'm gonna hit a plateau?!  *sigh*  I knew it was coming, but I was really hoping and thinking that it wouldn't occur until after ONEderland.  Anyhow, after this disturbing discovery and my initial intense thoughts of failure (it's hard to get out of this mindset when it is all you have known) I had to do research online and on my stomping grounds, gastricsleeve.com, to realize that this is a normal, expected part of the journey.  It just sucks.  Big time.  BIG TIME.

I decided to prowl through another app, Lose It!, where I have recorded what I've been eating and drinking since the end of July to see if there was anything in there that could otherwise explain this apparent decrease in weight loss besides a plateau.  I noticed that I have been drinking increasing amounts of coffee over the same period of time and I do, unfortunately, add sugar and cream to my coffee (old habits die hard!).  As of tomorrow, that's going to stop.  I bought 1% milk, sugar twin and stocked up on my favorite herbal tea today. We'll see if this helps anything.  I am determined to hit ONEderland before I start plateauing dammit!!!!  My goal is to get to 200 pounds by friday, a 5 pound loss.  

Life is Good

Yesterday I couldn't wait to weigh myself, I was so curious to know if I'd lost any more weight. I have. I am 205, only 6 pounds from ONEderland. I am so freaking excited right now.

Also, I had bought some new work clothes last week and didn't have a lot of time to try everything on, so I just grabbed my normal sizes - 2XL for tops and bottoms. On the weekend I tried on all my outfits to make sure everything fit ok and they were all too big. So I ended up going back to the store and exchanging all of my pants for "only" XL. I ended up keping the tops the same (2XL) since I usually end up wearing long sleeved shirts underneath even though I can fit into an XL top....it is just a little snug.

"Wow, you've lost a lot of weight" (!!!!!!!!)

I've been hearing this a lot lately to the point I'm wondering if there's a broken record in my head and I'm just hallucinating.  The funny thing is, it's coming from people that I see on a day-to-day basis.  People that I "know" but don't really know.  Not my friends or acquantices, but ordinary people you see on your daily routes.  In addition to the broken record statement, I have also been hearing, as is expected, "what are you doing?" (at times with a pleading, desperate look in the eyes).

The cafeteria lady has been saying this nearly everytime I see her now; she doesn't even say "hi" anymore, her greeting is "wow, you've lost a lot of weight" (mouth and eyes wide open).  Everytime she says that to me I think to myself, "I don't think the people on the other side of the cafeteria heard you, can you say it louder?".  LOL.  She's a real nice lady but I don't want the entire 500 seat cafeteria to hear what she's saying to me!  Then I think, it must be a cultural thing?  Maybe weight isn't a big deal in her culture?

There is a parking attendant lady that I see a few times a week and she has commented several times now in the past two weeks on how I have "lost a lot of weight" and it "looks good".  The lady at McDonald's today commented with a very surprised look on her face; you know the one - eyes and mouth open wide.  I'm actually surprised she even noticed since I always go through the drive-thru.  I guess it must be really apparent in my face. 

I stopped in tonight and visited a co-worker who hadn't seen me in 9 months and at first, she didn't recognize me.  She did a double-take.  It was only when I waved my hand and smiled at her, that she realized who I was.  Then there was the "wow, you've lost a lot of weight" with the eyes and the mouth wide open and the "what are you doing?!" (oooohhh, you know, eating less, eating healthy and exercising......that is the truth, I just leave out the surgery bit).

An odd thing has been happening.  These statements from people who aren't friends or people I haven't told, have actually helped me to accept that I AM losing weight.  When my friends and family comment on it, it is a hard compliment to accept because a big part of me says that they're just saying that to be nice.  It's a touchy area for me still.  I look at myself in the mirror and I keep saying to myself, "I don't SEE it".  Yes, I can tell when I wear clothes, but when I look in the mirror, I can't SEE it dammit.  :/  I am still waiting for that moment when I look in the mirror and can feel really confident about what I'm seeing. 

Some of the reasons I didn't tell people that I'd had this surgery was that I didn't want to deal with all the attention around the surgery itself and by not telling people, I would know that when they did comment on the weight-loss, it would be genuine.  I didn't want people saying I'd lost weight just to be nice and once you tell people, it's hard to know if they are just being nice or being honest.  Despite not telling a majority of people, I am still having to deal with it, even more so now as people are starting to notice and, of course, are asking, "what are you doing?".  In some ways I do want to share my journey with them.....but then I decide on not telling people because I don't want to have to explain the whole story and possibly have to defend my decision.  The day someone tells me I took the "easy way out" may be the first day in my life I assualt someone.  Can you see why I just don't want to tell people?  Too many people out there don't know shit about being overweight and all the struggles around it.  I don't want to be the poster child for WLS, I just want to get skinnier and healthier (and yes, sexier too) and get on with my life.  Maybe one day I will open up and share what has happened to me......then again, maybe not.  For now I keep telling people I'm eating smaller, healthier portions and exercising more.  That's it, that's all, cuz really when it comes down to it, that's all it really is. 

Good News & Bad News

Good or bad first?  Well, personally I like the bad news first so that hearing the good news over-rides the bad.  The bad news is.....Borscht is bad.  For me.  I figured it would be a "safe" soup as it was not creamy. Anyway, yeah, not so much.  Within an hour of eating the soup, I had terrible pain in my stomach which lasted about 45 minutes, followed by a "southern explosion" shall we say.  As unpleasant as this was, I *might* try it again.  Maybe it was just that brand?  Mind you, maybe it is Borscht in general?

Now for the good news.....

It's friday today and that means weighing in.  I got on the scale first thing this morning and actually LOST 3 more pounds!!!!  I am down to 210 pounds with a total of 51 pounds lost in 12 weeks!  Hey, it's only 3 pounds you're thinking, right?  Well, yes, but, that's three pounds DOWN during PMS!  Usually I gain weight around this time.  I'm tickled pink, can you tell?  ONEderland is only 11 pounds away!!!!

I also boxed up clothes that no longer fit (donated them to charity) AND.....it looks like I'll be doing it again very soon!  As I had previously mentioned, a lot of my clothes, especially my pants, are becoming very baggy and loose in the bum/hips/thighs area (not a bad thing) and are threatening to fall right down at times.  This weekend it looks like I will be donating more clothes to charity and buying some clothes that fit.  In addition, I do have some pants that I bought in 2008 that have not fit me for years up until now.  Kinda neat since these clothes are practically new and now I can actually wear them......almost 3 years later, lol.

Exercising goal - MET!!!!  Although I have not been going to the gym, I HAVE been doing at home exercising using my body weight as the resistance.  Let me tell you, it does work.  I have had sore arms, thighs, butt, abs off and on all this week.  The only thing I need to nail down is getting more cardio in even though my exercising at home is at a fast pace and I work up a good sweat and fast heart rate.  One thing at a time.  I am still looking to invest in rubber bands though so I can do some added moves at home.  For me, I think the less time spent in a gym the better.  I get bored super fast and doing the moves at home saves me time and I am ENJOYING it, which is key.

Exciting.

Frozen Dinners Are Yummy! :P

For food this week I've been eating frozen dinners.  They're quick and not to mention cheap.  One frozen dinner lasts me three meals and at the moment, I'm hooked on macaroni and beef as well as a roasted veggies and beef "Healthy Request" meal.  Not bad if you think about it, I'm spending about $4.50 a day to eat at the moment, even better this upcoming week as I scored big time at the store and bought the frozen dinners for $1 a piece (usually $3.99 each).  I'm pretty happy about that, in terms of money, however, I really miss eating salads.  Huge, colorful salads packed with crunchy veggies and protein.  I also really miss eating fruits.....diving into a huge slice of juicy watermelon or a tasty sticky mango.  *sigh*  Since I am trying to get my protein intake around 80 grams a day, that seems to be all that I eat.  There really isn't any room left for veggies or fruit once I've eaten my protein.  My intake is essentially this:  wake up have a cup of watered down juice with my meds, wait 30 minutes, have breakfast, wait 45 minutes, have a coffee/tea, wait 30 minutes, have lunch, wait 45 minutes, have water for a few hours, have my evening tea, wait 30 minutes, have dinner, wait 45 minutes and have liquids until bedtime.  Yup, that's my day, every day.  Sometimes instead of my evening tea I will have soup instead, but that's usually only once or twice a week.

Checked in this friday for my now bi-weekly doctor appointment and am weighing in at 213 pounds for a total loss of 48 pounds at the 11 week mark.  Only two pounds lost, BUT, I am entering the PMS zone so I'm sure I'm going to balloon up another 7-10 pounds *ugh*.  ONEderland is now only 14 pounds away.......

I had a "sleevie" lesson over the weekend.  Went out for dinner with the hubby for his belated birthday since he was working on his actual birthday.  I ordered a caesar salad with grilled chicken.  I didn't eat very much, pro'lly about 3 oz worth (I'm getting really good at eye-balling my portion sizes), but I had two extra bites beyond the tightness that I get which I have thus far assumed is my "full" marker.  Now, the two extra bites I had were two pieces of ripped up romaine lettuce that you typically get in a salad, so honestly not a whole lot.  Well, from the way I was feeling, I felt as though I had eaten an entire pot roast or something.  My punishment?  45 minutes of extreme tightness, the feeling of food sitting in my throat (not really food there, but that is what it felt like) and, of course, sleevie's favorite, nausea.  Joy.  Lesson learned.  DO NOT EAT A SINGLE SCRAP ONCE SLEEVIE TIGHTENS UP.

Goals for this week: work out at the gym four times.  The past two weeks have not been very fruitful in terms of my work out attempts, mind you, my Mother has been hospitalized and visiting her takes priority over my work-outs.  I'm glad to say she is now home after a two week stay and is on the mend.  I am also going to be trying out Yoga starting this week.  I bought a few coupons from the ever-popular sites such as "Groupon", "Living Social" and "Wag Jag", and I am really looking forward to doing Yoga.


On a side note, I bought a "goal" bathing suit.  Nothing fancy other than it being a bikini, but I don't think that it is an unreasonable goal outfit.  I managed to dig up the bikini I had when I had previously lost a lot of weight back in 2004.  Yes, I kept it all this time.  It's a really cute little bathing suit and I've always hung onto it in the hopes it would one day fit again.  The black suit is the one I hope to fit into when I reach my goal of 120 pounds and the suit on the right is the bikini I wore as a size 10 at 160 pounds.  I don't think I'm being unrealistic in picking out the black bikini considering that the top and bottom are a size "large"....which to me, still seems small to even be considered a large.  So there it is, my goal outfits.  They await in my closet.  Hoping that by next summer, I'll be wearing them.

Bikini from 2004

New Bikini