Phew, I survived the Christmas Holidays and the Turkey dinner! I am amazed at how I actually have LOST weight, for the first time ever. Usually around this time of the year I gain about 10 pounds from my gorging. I have only had 7 "skinny eggnog lattes" from Starbucks (before I would have at least one a day, sometimes 2 with the 3.25% milk) since mid-November, which is a seasonal treat for me. I am surprised I am able to have them and not get sick, although I did have a "sleevie lesson" this morning from something else which I'll get into later.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas as I did. It never fails to amaze me how long it seems to take Christmas to get here once it is December 1st. Time seems to slow right down to a crawl and Christmas seems to take forever to arrive. Just like when I was a child, I never really sleep very good the night before, so much excitement! My FITBIT recorded 18 moments of waking during 8 hours of "sleep", lol. Yup, a little excited. I was spoiled by "Santa", as usual. I got my Lululemon sweater (!!!!) and a bag full of goodies from my fave pampering store, LUSH, as well as some other delightful surprises. Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I love getting together with family, having turkey dinner and watching a movie afterwards, along with all of the chatter that takes place. Aside from funerals, it seems to be the one time of the year that we can get just about everyone under one roof, so I really look forward to this time of the year. 
I did some shopping for myself on the 23rd at one of the huge malls nearby. As much as I love shopping, 5 hours in a packed mall so close to Christmas filled up my need for shopping for a long time. I broke down and bought a few pairs of jeans. I know I said I was going to buy used clothing, but at $25 a pair I found it hard to say no. I can't believe I was paying $60 a pair for my plus size jeans. I was never able to buy a pair of plus sized jeans for $25. I fit into a size 14 in jeans at this particular store. I was shocked. Not because the jeans were not a size 12 like at Lululemon, but because I initially went to grab an 18 and took a 14 instead. I held up the 14 and thought to myself, there's no way in hell these are going to fit. I know, it makes no sense at all that I fit into a 12 at one store and expected to fit into an 18 at another store. I can't even explain that. I just couldn't believe it. I kept staring at myself at all different angles, taking it all in. A size 22 to a size 12/14 in less than 6 months. This works out to be XXL/XXXL to a size large. Unreal. My thighs and lower stomach have always been on the larger side in proportion to the rest of me, so right now I'm happy with being a 12/14 or a "large". Not bad at all. 
Ok, so back to surviving the Christmas Season. How did I do it? Well, with sleevie's help of course!!! As I have mentioned before, I don't really have cravings to eat anymore. I don't crave the junk I used to eat. Before sleevie, I would actually crave to eat and eat and eat and eat. Now with that being said, I do at times get a feeling of wanting something sweet in my mouth after a meal. I don't want to eat, I just want something sweet in my mouth. I don't know if I'm am explaining this very well, but it has nothing to do with actually eating. I don't want to eat, I just want the sensation. I find what works for me is to have one of the new teas that I bought. Some of them do have chocolate in them, but the pieces are so teensy tiny that it really isn't enough to upset sleevie and I don't add any sweetener or milk, I just drink them plain. Another thing I have been using are tic-tacs. A few of these and I'm good to go and at .5 calories each, I don't worry about having a few a day. 
Food is so very, very different for me now than it was 6 months ago. I look at food now as fuel and know what I need to fuel myself - protein, veggies/fruit then carbs in that order. That's how my meal is chosen. For my turkey dinner I took meat first, brussels sprouts, mashed turnips, sweet potatoes and a few tablespoons of gravy. I find something wet on the food helps it go down good. I eyeballed my portions and put them all on a small plate. I chewed slowly, taking the time to enjoy the taste and texture of what I was eating, but didn't eat past 15 minutes. I had about 2.5 oz of meat and everything else was a few teaspoons. I ate the meat first then the veggies and the carbs last. I didn't eat all of what I had set out, but that's ok. As soon as I could feel sleevie twitching, I was done. I set my timer on my phone for 1 hour, marking when I can start drinking and that was that. 
As far as leftovers go, I took home some pie with cool whip on the top and decided to have a few bites today, 4 teaspoons to be exact. Bad idea. VERY. BAD. IDEA. Although the pie was very good, a few minutes after my fourth bite, I broke out into a sweat, my heart rate increased and the nausea set in. I spent an hour in nausea hell and another 2 hours very uncomfortable and extremely thirsty. One thing I have noticed after these episodes, since I have had a few of them, is that I am so very, very thirsty afterwards. I don't even know WHY I decided to have a few bites because I didn't actually WANT it. I guess it was because everyone was saying how good it was. Anyhow, just looking at the leftover pie in the fridge makes me want to vomit. Some of you may remember my nacho cheese and nacho chips incident....to this day, I still can not look at nacho cheese and nacho chips without feeling the need to vomit. When chocolate has been offered, I am reminded of the incident I had with 2 pieces of chocolate a few weeks ago and I am turned off right away. This surgery has done so much for me. It has reprogrammed the way I look at food, how I eat food, how I treat food and how I need food. No amount of counseling could have taught ME what this surgery has taught me. I am so grateful. Everyday. Even on the days I've made bad choices and suffered for it. I do not regret my decision.
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